The Holding Pattern

UH-1E that Sherry and I flew in this past weekend.

I have been absent for a while here because I’ve been in a holding pattern of sorts. My weight has been hovering back and forth within a 3 lbs window, and no matter how hard I try to be good, life has been throwing me little diversions that keeps me from getting lower than 183 lbs for good. It’s aggravating, but here’s the kicker: I’ve allowed it to happen.

My weight is very much under control. I only wish I could get it under 180 lbs and keep it under control there, but the problem for me has been a lack of physical activity. I’ve been dealing with a hurt knee (and the other knee was beginning to give me trouble, as well!) and I haven’t been able to do the exercise I need to get below 180 lbs. I know that I say all the time, “You lose weight in the kitchen; you get fit in the gym.” This is true for 90% of weight loss (which I also have said many times). 90% of my weight loss leads me to 180 lbs. For me to get lower, I need to burn more calories or eat a lot less. The problem is that I have difficulty eating less. I like eating. I eat healthy food made from whole ingredients, but it’s something I enjoy immensely, and while I have greatly limited my portion sizes and obviously the content of my meals, I still like to eat more than a cup of this and a cup of that. It’s partly why I do IF: it allows me slightly larger meals through the day.

When I run, my weight stays on the low side of the 170’s. It’s easy to maintain the weight there, and I can eat and even have the occasional drink or two without great effect. When I’m not running? Ugh.

So, the good news for me is that I am getting back to my running today. It’s been a solid two weeks since I have experienced any pain in my right knee, and I think I can get back to it. The trick will be to go slow and take it easy. I have a tendency to let the old Marine in me out when I run and go all-out. I need to really rein it in and take it easy.

So, here’s to breaking the holding pattern. Here’s to making some solid progress again. But here’s also to having been able to weather the holding pattern and to see it for the success that it is/was: I didn’t gain weight, I didn’t abandon hope, and I never gave up.

Losing those inches

This morning, I noticed that my belt needed to be closed one hole farther in than it has been for a long time. This is a huge victory, and one I’ve been waiting on for a while. You see, I’ve found that in my experience, I either lose weight or size; never both at the same time. While I’ve dropped a good 7 lbs or so in the last few weeks, I hadn’t noticed my belts needing to be tightened. Now that the weight loss has stalled, sure enough, another belt hole is being used.

It’s funny how this yo-yo between size and weight happens for me, and it’s also funny how predictable and consistent it is. I’m doing all the things I know to do to lose weight/size, and sure enough, it’s just coming right off/down. I think the biggest factor right now is the amount of sleep I’m getting: I’m averaging a solid 8 hours a night right now. That’s about .5 to 1 hour more than I used to get, and not only do I feel more rested and motivated during the day, but it’s helping me lose the weight I’m wanting to lose. I’m still unable to run (but I think I’ll be back to it soon; I do feel the knees are healing nicely!), so I have to be extra good with the food and rest. It’s the only way I can make any progress.

Like I always say: perseverance. It works.

You didn’t gain it overnight…

I have no idea why I picked this image. It just feels fun.

…and you can’t lose it overnight. I have to keep telling this to myself every time I step on the scale and I don’t see the result I’m hoping for. This morning was a good one; I’m at my lowest weight in months, but I’m also on the precipice of finally slipping into the 170’s, and I WANT IT MEOW!!!

At my lowest weight, I was 160 lbs. I wasn’t able to maintain that for long due to some wild eating on vacations, and it’s never gone back down to that level since 2017. I was in the 170’s for most of 2017 and 2018, but in 2019, I want to be back in the 160’s again. To that end, I’ve been eating right, getting a lot of sleep, and doing everything I can outside of exercise to get there. Why not exercise? I have a hurt knee I’m going to visit a doctor for soon, and I’ve been trying to let it heal, only it’s taking too long, and now I fear there may be more serious issues afoot (see what I did there?).

It is possible to lose weight without exercise. I lost over 130 lbs in a year without a single drop of sweat caused by exercise. I know first-hand that it’s possible, and it can even be pretty quick. 10+ lbs/month average weight loss is nothing to sneeze at. However, the last 20 lbs I lost were done through a lot of hard work with running and push-ups. Now, I’m trying to get back into the 160’s without running. It’s proving difficult, but I am seeing progress, so I’m sticking with it. I sincerely hope that I can get back to running soon. I miss it. I don’t miss it like I miss pasta or pizza, but I miss it nonetheless.

It took years to pack it on; it will take months to take it off. I need to remind myself of this often. Like right meow.

Progress Again

Sticking to the Paleo Diet and getting enough sleep has been rewarding me with some more weight and size loss. I was able to go a one belt hole farther on my belt yesterday, and today, I was 2 lbs lighter than yesterday. I looked at my Garmin data for steps this past weekend and found that I had only walked an average of 7000 steps, so it wasn’t like I was walking as much or as far as I thought I was. However, being in the cold definitely burned a lot of calories, so I’m sure that’s where a lot of my calorie deficit came from this past weekend.

The bottom line is that I’m so close to being in the 170’s again, I can taste it. Heck, if I continue to be good this week, I may see 179 lbs (or less!) by Friday! That’s exciting!!! With that said, I’ve said it time and time again: the scale shouldn’t ever be your single source of measure when it comes to your health and physical well-being. There are other things to consider like size (how your clothes fit, getting into smaller sizes), how you feel in the mornings, how much energy you have, mental clarity, and even improvements to your health like lower blood pressure, lower blood sugar, lower cholesterol, and better skin (these are all things I’ve seen happen in my own journey with Whole30/Paleo). However, being in the military, I do have to concern myself with weight, and right now, I’m officially over the height/weight standard by 5 lbs. There is an alternate measure called “Taping” where they measure your waist and neck and compute your BFI, but I don’t want to go that route. I know that the BFI process is being re-worked at the DoD, and I don’t want to start relying on it now only to have it change and then I’d have to do something drastic to get back into regs. I just don’t want to go through that.

So, long story short: I’m at 181 lbs this morning. That’s a full 6 lbs less than I was the morning I left for Fort Hood. I can feel it in my clothes, in the way my trousers fit, and I can see it on my midsection. When I see more definition, I know the fat is going away.

The moral of the story is: consistency. My grandfather always used to say that consistency was key to success. “Keep working, and through determination, you will see success,” he would tell me when I would call him and my grandmother to tell them how I was doing in college. His words come back to me all the time when I consider eating something non-Paleo.

The Weekend Wrap-Up

As I posted last week, this weekend was a three-day field event for me in the National Guard. What that meant for me was not only a difficult food situation, but a lot of activity and burning a lot of calories. For that reason, I was a little more lenient on certain items on my plate when I ate every day.

Our breakfasts consisted of scrambled eggs that were mixed with butter and bacon (with sausage and ham also available). There was typically a selection of either a banana or apple, and a muffin or biscuit of some sort. I skipped the apple or orange juice. I allowed myself the biscuit or muffin on each of the two days I ate breakfast in the field, and it turned out to be helpful.

It was very cold, and my body was burning a lot of extra calories just to keep warm. I also did a lot of walking and running around with a lot of weight on me, so the extra calories were welcome. I ate some of my RXBars and Epic bars for lunches, and sometimes as a snack as required.

Dinner on Friday night was good: it was meatballs, salad, green beans, and mashed potatoes. Again, I ate all of these. I avoided the sweet tea or lemonade, but I did eat the dessert cookie. It was rather small, and again, since the temperatures were forecast to be in the upper 30’s/lower 40’s, I figured some energy might help.

All in all, when I got home, I found that I’d lost 4 lbs from my Thursday morning weigh in. I knew I was losing weight/size while I was out there as my FLC (the vest we wear that holds a lot of our pouches/gear) was getting looser on me. Weighing myself this morning only confirmed my suspicions.

I am fortunate in that my sweet wife, Sherry, made me dinners and lunches for this week even though she is out of town for the first half of this week, so I will be able to continue eating well. I should see another 2-3 lbs drop if I’m lucky.

Preparation for Four Days of RXBars and Epic Bars

For the next four days starting tomorrow morning, I’m going to be living on RXBars and Epic Bars with the occasional nut or Larabar. Why? Because I’m going to be in the field with the Army National Guard, and I prefer to not eat MRE’s (mostly carb-heavy, fortified, and super-calorie dense) or the catered food (which is typically also pasta/carb heavy). That means I live off the “Bars” for a few days. Can it be done?

I did it successfully on my first field operation in over 20 years back in 2017 for two weeks. While I did imbibe the occasional fruit, egg, or meat serving the cooks would serve us, for the most part, I lived on the bars I took with me. It worked exceedingly well. I felt well-fed, my appetite was sated, and I felt full of energy.

I always keep a few bars in my backpack at work in case I have to miss a lunch or other meal, and sometimes, I end up enjoying the bar a lot more than I would have expected. See, I actually like how RXBars, Epic Bars, and Larabars taste. They are like candy, in a way, and I take my time to eat them slowly to savor them. I know some people don’t like them at all; that’s okay. I just happen to be someone who does. I guess I’m lucky that way.

So, tonight’s dinner will be my last real meal until Sunday night. Even then, I may not have real food since my wife will be out of town. I might be living on the Bars for longer than four days. Or maybe I can convince her to make something in the slow cooker or Instant Pot for me while I’m gone so I won’t starve this week. We’ll see how that turns out.

Back to the Fight

And now is the part of weight loss that I dislike; the yo-yo while achieving small losses. My weight will hit a new low, then rise a bit, then go back down (hopefully lower), then back up, etc. It’s annoying. But it’s how it goes. Again, this is all stuff I’ve experienced in the past so it’s nothing new (and shouldn’t bother me), but here we are. I am getting enough sleep, my portions are (for the most part) correct, and I’m doing IF (16-8). The only thing I’m not doing very much of right now is exercise due to my right knee injury and an impending field exercise I don’t want to risk an injury before.

This week will be a rather short one for me in terms of blogging; I won’t be able to do updates from Thursday through Sunday due to being at Fort Hood out in the cold, the rain, and the mud. I will be taking my requisite RXBars and Lara Bars along with some nuts, but that’ll be my sustenance for the four-day period. I may eat what the cooks make us if it’s Paleo enough, but if the past is any indication, it’ll be mostly pasta or something with a bun/muffin/roll/etc.

What determines whether a person succeeds or fails is whether that person can power through adversity and difficulty to success. Right now, this yo-yo period, this is my adversity. I will not allow myself to fail. I will push through, continue the fight, and never surrender (and no more sabotage!).