My grandmother used to have a saying: We should eat to live, not live to eat. When she would tell me this, I thought I understood what she was saying, but it seemed a little unrealistic to me. I was a person who not only loved food, I lived it. I would finish one meal and begin planning for the next. I would eat not due to stress, but because the act of eating was something I loved. I was the epitome of “Live to eat.”

Almost a year ago, I took the first steps to reversing that toxic lifestyle and changed my relationship with food. I went from being a person who lived to eat to being a person who eats to live. The change was monumental.

In the beginning, it was tough. I was one of those people who used to say, “I could never give up bread, pasta, beans, or rice.” I had to learn quickly that those foods were out of my lifestyle. But more than that, I had to realize that I was eating three meals a day to fuel my body and for no other purpose. That didn’t mean that my food had to taste horrible or bland. It just meant that I would eat only the amount of food needed to fuel my body, and only foods that were good for my body. Nothing more.

This was tough. It took as much mental discipline as it took me to get through USMC boot camp. However, something strange happened: I was able to adapt to it rather quickly.

I found that I was no longer hungry between meals. I felt sated and energized after meals instead of feeling sluggish and tired. I could do things during the day without thinking about what my next meal would be, not because I was hungry, but because I used to look forward to the next meal as a way to entertain myself.

As I drove home last night, I thought about the fact that my days are now filled with so much more than a preoccupation with food. My mind isn’t beholden to the food I eat, nor is it constantly thinking about food. When it’s meal time, I look forward to eating and I enjoy delicious foods, but it’s not the center of my universe anymore.

Like a toxic interpersonal relationship with someone, a toxic relationship with food can make life miserable. The best course of action when you’re in a bad relationship is to cut them out of your life. I had that sort of relationship with high-carb foods and sugar. It was hurting me on a regular basis, and eventually was going to kill me. I was able to change my relationship with food by engaging good foods instead of those that were out to kill me, and now, my life couldn’t be happier.