Sometimes, I just want to eat, eat, and eat

It’s weird. The capacity of my stomach is greatly reduced 20 months after I started my first Whole30, and I’ve worked hard to change my relationship with food, how I view food, and the reasons I eat food. Every now and then, however, I still get the urge to eat more than I need. To just gorge myself. I don’t act on these impulses, but they still happen.

They are a hold-over from 48 years of bad eating habits and not caring about what I put into my mouth. Like muscle memory for athletes, it’s a psychological rut my mind settles into every now and then. I’ve found that it mostly happens when I am bored or not doing anything in particular, and that if I occupy my mind with something, the desire to eat goes away. That’s how I know it’s not hunger or a standard craving.

I was asked today if I wanted to eat some flan, and I said no. The person offering it said, “Sometimes, you just gotta have some because it’s what you want.” I patted my belly and said, “But I want a six-pack more than I ever want flan!” We laughed, but it’s true. I have set my mind to being healthy and fit and nothing is going to get in my way if I can help it.

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