I am not who I once was. I have come a long way from the place I used to be. I used to say I hate exercise, that I will never exercise, and that I would never restrict my food intake from specific food groups. I would deride anyone doing so, and I would poke fun at them for making all the effort. I was doing this all out of my own dissatisfaction with my own health and lack of fitness. I was lashing out not because of what they were doing, but because I felt that these things were beyond my ability. I thought there was no way I could be motivated enough, dedicated enough, or that I could persevere through the challenges required to become healthy, lose weight, and get fit.
I was so wrong on so many levels.
First, I was wrong about hating exercise. I don’t hate it. In fact, I actually enjoy it now. I enjoy how it makes me feel, I enjoy the challenge, and I enjoy making progress. I actually get cranky if I can’t exercise, and it’s something I don’t dread or shy away from anymore. I don’t have to psyche myself up to run or exercise. I just get out there and begin. It’s glorious.
Second, I said I would never exercise. I have proved myself wrong here, too.
Third, I restrict my intake of anything with added and processed sugar, grains, beans, dairy, alcohol, and soy. I restrict these severely, and in doing so, I have lost over 150 lbs in 20 months, I now have lower blood sugar (normal!), lower LDL cholesterol levels (normal!), no more fatty liver disease, and improved flexibility and mobility due to a lack of fat stores all over my body. I’ve been able to start running and getting fit, the result of which is that I am now in the National Guard at age 50.
Fourth, I was very wrong in lashing out at people who were doing what they could to get healthy, fit, and lose weight. Because they were able to do something I wasn’t able to do, I did what weaker people do: I lashed out at that which I didn’t understand, didn’t know, or was different from me. I’m not proud of it, and I’m not making excuses for it. I was wrong.
I feel like I’m living a new life in a new body. I hardly recognize the person I was. For over 20 years, I was the fat guy. I was the embarrassed guy. I was the unfit guy. I was the sarcastic and mean guy to anyone who took their health and fitness seriously. It affected me in every aspect of my life. Now that I’m healthy and fit, I feel that I am a better person. At least I keep trying, day in and day out. That’s probably the biggest change of all: I keep trying.