I get emotional sometimes

mehMy weight fluctuations are something I expect and I can roll with, but whenever the fluctuations exceen the normal range I’m used to, I get upset. I am not upset at anyone or anything in particular, but I get upset with myself because I am in control of what goes into my body, and somehow, I’ve let myself down.

I don’t count my vacations in that; I knew from the outset I was going to imbibe way too much of foods that are not good for me and that it would result in weight gain. When I did get upset, it was not because I gained weight, but because I exceeded the gain I was expecting. It was more disappointment than anger, really.

My wife knows when I’m at the top of my “Happy Weight Range” because I get cranky and I get very picky with my serving sizes and I decline snacks and desserts. When I’m at the bottom of the Happy Weight Range, I allow myself a little more leeway.

My emotions are tied to my overall health because I was unhealthy for so long and I don’t ever want to feel that way again. I never want to go back to that. I have nightmares about looking in the mirror and being overweight again. It’s probably not right, and no, I don’t think of myself as hideous or ugly when I’m overweight. It’s not that at all. It’s all about how I feel, how many things I can do now, and ultimately, how much healthier I am.

So yes, I get emotional. I know it’s not the best thing to do or be when it comes to weight, especially when it’s just a number on a stupid device, but dang it, it gets me. Fortunately for me, I am making the progress I was expecting and that I knew I can make by eating right; down 7 lbs in two days just from eating my good Paleo food. That water weight is dropping fast, and I should be back into the 160’s by next week.

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