Paleo Marine

I believe in being nice to people. You might not get that from reading my blog sometimes, but when it comes to dealing with people, I like to do so with respect, and with integrity. I don’t think it’s right to make fun or or to insult someone based on their sex, age, religion, weight, race, etc. It’s just not right. However, enabling bad habits in regards to obesity is something that is overlooked for fear of “Fat shaming.”

Let me be clear: calling someone fat isn’t fat shaming if they are obese, although overly sensitive people will see it that way (this belies a deeper problem with them refusing to face the root of their weight problems). What is fat shaming? Calling someone a fat bastard or a fat fuck is fat shaming. Saying, “You’d look so much better if you lost 45 lbs” is fat shaming. Making exasperated or disappointed faces at an obese person about to sit next to you on a flight is fat shaming. Shaking your head in disapproval at an obese person eating ice cream is fat shaming. None of that is okay. None of it.

But, I’ve said it before and I’m going to say it again: we have gone too far with political correctness when we won’t offer feedback to others to address their health. It’s a sensitive subject, and yes, having been on the receiving end of it, I know first-hand it’s uncomfortable. But it needs to be done, and yes, the fact it is uncomfortable makes it more effective. Why?

IT. NEEDS. TO. BE. SAID.

Did one person make me change my mind? One person tipped me over the edge from inaction to action, but they were the straw that broke the camel’s back. I had many friends, family, and loved ones come to me over the years pleading for me to do something about my weight. My grandmother, who I miss every day since she passed, told me every single time we spoke, “You need to lose weight. I will never forgive you if you die before I do.” Those words scared me, but not enough to change my lifestyle. Yet, the seeds were planted. They just needed some watering.

Enter my cousin Sarah and my friend Matt. Matt had been doing his best to educate me about the evils of sugar and the low-fat myth. This education from Matt was reinforced when my cousin Sarah told me about Whole30 and Paleo. There was the water needed for that seed to grow, tipping me from being skeptical and without direction into being a person who has now lost over 150 lbs successfully and has kept it off for over two years.

I would not be where I am today without those people taking the initiative to have the uncomfortable conversations with me. I’m now healthier than ever, no longer suffering from Type-2 Diabetes,  a resting heart rate of between 43-47, running 5+ km every other day, and no longer suffering from fatty liver disease. Heck, at 49 years old, I joined the National Guard to complete my 20 years of military service.

Never give up on your loved ones. If you really care, you need to have the uncomfortable conversations with them about health. Encourage them to do some reading, and to make some changes in their lifestyle in regards to eating that can yield some really amazing results. Notice I didn’t say fitness. Most fat people can’t and won’t consider any plan that requires lots of fitness in the beginning because of so many social stigmas attached to overweight people exercising coupled with the extreme discomfort that comes with it. I didn’t start running until I had lost over 110 lbs (and I’m very happy with that decision, thank you!).

If you’re on the receiving end, know that the people who talked to you about your health love you and care about you so much, they risked your being angry or upset with them to give you a message you need to hear. You may not want to hear it, but it needed to be said. Instead of being angry or upset with them, think about it. Do the research. Start eating right. That’s all you have to do. It’s not easy, but it is simple. Give it a try. All you’ve got to gain is your health, and perhaps more years of life.

I just wrote about this recently, but I heard it again today, and it reaffirmed my dislike for the terms, “Big Framed,” or “Big Boned.”

No. It’s fat.

There are no big skeletons. Nobody has oversized bones that make you look fat. Nobody.

If you are short and stout like a teapot, it’s because you are overweight. Period.

Someone today told me that they looked fat because they were so dense with muscle. I asked them what their body fat percentage was, and they said, “34%.” That’s not lean. That’s not anywhere near lean. That’s fat.

Until overweight people stop deluding themselves and lying to themselves about the condition in which they find themselves (overweight and unfit), they will never be able to tackle the core issue and solve the problem: change what you’re eating and eat less. Period.

No amount of exercise can overcome a bad diet. Lying to yourself to avoid taking responsibility for your weight doesn’t do anyone any good and makes you look less than intelligent.

Do yourself a favor: find the intestinal fortitude to look yourself in the face, admit you have a problem with food, and fix it. Only then can you begin the journey to getting healthy and losing weight.

My grandfather used to always tell me to have patience when I was undertaking any large task. When I was going to college? His only words of advice were, “Patience.” Studying for a big exam? “Patience.” Working on a big project? ”Patience.” I didn’t quite understand what he meant by that. It didn’t really make sense. Something more along the lines of, “Work harder! Study! Do your best!” all seemed like better words of advice. But, much like everything he and my grandmother ever told me, the wisdom was lost on my younger ears and now I know what he meant.

Don’t rush things. Take your time. Change will come. Just do the work.

This is very important when undertaking a lifestyle change like adopting the Paleo Diet. You can’t expect results over night. If you get quick results, it’s bonus. You will go days, weeks, and sometimes even months without noticeable progress. It will be annoying, tough, and it will test your will. Perseverance will be key. But over it all, you need to have patience. Trust in the process. Trust in the diet. Trust in yourself.

Patience. It’s an overlooked piece of the puzzle when it comes to success in getting healthy.

I’ve been asked by people about when to start a new diet plan, and I always tell people, “Why not now?” Sure, changing over to a diet like the Paleo Diet takes preparation, there’s no reason to put it off any longer than necessary to get rid of high-carb or high-sugar ingredients in your kitchen.

Putting it off can be practical. If you just went shopping and you have a week or two worth of food, there’s no reason to not eat it. Just go for it. Consider it a going away party. But short of that, you’d an begin eating right immediately. Sure, you will have to do some quick research on what to eat and what to avoid, but fortunately, Paleo is simple.

• Avoid anything with added-sugar
• Avoid grains
• Avoid beans
• Avoid dairy
• Avoid soy
• Avoid alcohol

You’ll be surprised how many foods you can find that comply with those simple rules. Yes, there will be many foods no longer on your menu, but forget about those. Concentrate on the foods you CAN eat, and you will find that you’re already eating most of those foods already. As a bonus, the sooner you start, the sooner your body begins recovering from its sugar addiction and the sooner you will start to get healthy and lose weight!

I hear it all the time: “I’ve joined a gym, so I’ll be losing weight soon.” I then ask, “That’s great! What diet plan are you following?” and often they’ll respond with, “Oh, I’m not doing a diet. I’m going to work out to lose the weight,” or “Lots of fruits and vegetables and WeightGain 2000 (or whatever protein supplement they’re taking).”

Sigh.

For losing weight, there’s no exercising your way out of a bad diet. You will surely build muscle, but that doesn’t always mean you will lose weight. “Fat burning” is a myth, and you don’t actually burn fat as you exercise. You will sweat a lot, but that’s not fat leaving the body; just hydration.

If you want to lose weight, you have to change what you put into your body. Low carbs is best (which is why I advocate the Paleo Diet), but people have success with many other diets like Keto, CICO (Calories In/Calories Out), Intermittent Fasting, etc. Whatever you do, make the change, commit to it, and don’t cheat/sabotage. And for heaven’s sake, don’t think you can exercise enough to lose weight without changing your diet. You’re going to get disillusioned and quit.

Something we have to deal with after every holiday party is the inevitable weight gain from eating too much, or from eating foods that aren’t Paleo. This time, it was too much food and drinking lots of alcohol. All the food Sherry made for our Halloween Party was Paleo, but that didn’t mean that eating a lot of it was okay. But… we didn’t care. We ate all night and drank a lot as well. Why? BECAUSE HALLOWEEN PARTY!

And do you know what? I’m completely okay with that. I’m up 5 lbs over yesterday. Yes, a solid five pounds. Where did that come from? Well, it’s mostly water that my body is retaining as a result of drinking so much alcohol. I know it’s physically impossible to have gained actual 5 lbs in one night, and I also know from over two years of experience that about half of that will go away today, and the rest will disappear over the next 3-5 days. By Friday, I will be back to a normal, more acceptable weight.

Why do I do it? Why put my body and myself through this? Well, in a word: Life. Why would I want to miss out on things like celebrations, parties, and time with friends celebrating the fact that we’re all alive at the same time, at the same place, and enjoying each others’ company? There’s no good reason to forego that, and I refuse to live a life without celebration.

Call it a sacrifice. It’s something I give for myself and my friends: going off the rails, a little bit, to enjoy life to its fullest.

I fully enjoyed myself last night, and had an amazing time with a group of people who mean the most to me in this world. Many of these people are like family to me. These are the people who matter most, and I lived it up with them.

Today, I started the day a little naughty; I put some Swiss cheese into our eggs. But outside of that, I’m back at it, 100% Paleo, and I’m dedicated to eating healthy and I may even run a little later today (and if I don’t, I will definitely do so tomorrow).

Don’t beat yourself up for enjoying life. If it’s a once-in-a-while activity, it’s completely okay. Just don’t make it a daily habit or you’ll never recover.

I love the holidays. Getting together with friends and family, sharing food and drinks, making memories, taking photos; it’s all so joyous and full of love. A big part of the holidays is food, and holiday food is steeped in tradition. Much of what we typically eat is not the healthiest of foods, but with a little work, there are many Paleo alternatives that are just as tasty, if not tastier than the originals.

With that said, there are times during the holiday season that it’s impossible to eat a truly Paleo menu. Friends and family may not be on the same page nutritionally, and foregoing or avoiding a holiday meal would be worse than any “Bad food” intake. For this reason, I do my best to eat Paleo, but when I’m at a holiday meal with friends or family, I eat whatever is presented (within reason: I am not a fan of sweet potato with marshmallow topping. Ew!). I may eat smaller amounts or try to pick and chose certain side dishes over others, but for the most part, I partake in whatever food is given.

Even during the holiday season, it’s rare to have more than one or two of these dinners a week. Even at the height of the season, one or two meals in a week is not excessive. I’ve learned through experience that I don’t gain a lot of weight after eating a non-Paleo meal. Sure, I retain some water and my weight may spike 1-3 lbs, but as long as I continue to eat Paleo after the non-Paleo meal, the weight goes right back down to where it was before the non-Paleo meal within a day or two at most. Knowing this makes it esay to partake in the holiday festivities and cheer guilt-free.

Enjoy the holidays. Eat some food. Drink some wine. But don’t overdo it, and don’t lose track of the big picture. Eating a holiday meal is not slipping or falling off the wagon: it’s partaking in life’s special moments, and that’s important. Don’t cut yourself off from friends and family because of your diet. Enjoy yourself, and harden your resolve to withstand the non-Paleo meal and follow it up by being especially diligent in sticking to the plan. It can be done, and it’s not as hard as you may think.

This morning, as I was making my two eggs sunny-side up and three slices of bacon (no salt or sugar added), I came to a realization that made me very sad and shook me. It’s one that I think I’ve thought of before but refused to truly believe: Some people just really don’t care about their health or mortality and will not lift a finger to change their lifestyle, even if it means a higher quality life or longer life. There are likely many reasons for this.

First, it takes effort. It’s not easy. We want everything fast, easy, and cheap. It’s ingrained into our culture at every level. Losing weight takes determination, motivation, and perseverance. Most people just don’t want to put in the effort to lose weight.

Second, people are working off of incomplete nutritional information based on outright lies and misinformation perpetuated by our government through its health education in schools as well as our media. “Coconut oil is bad for you!” “Eggs are bad for you!” “Fat is bad for you!” “Whole wheat is good for you!” All of those statements are patently false, yet the media and our government repeat those lies time and time again. So much, in fact, that there are millions of people who actually believe it.

Third, due to the bad information and the lack of prior success, people have diet fatigue. They just can’t go through another diet, another transition. They tried and failed time and time again, and each time, they gained back even more weight than they lost. It’s demoralizing.

Fourth, there’s plain old apathy. Some people really just don’t care for no sake other than not caring. They see their lives as pre-destined, or they feel they have no control over their weight, diet, health, and fitness. “It is what it is,” is a mantra these people live by. Sadly, nothing could be further from the truth.

Fifth, nobody likes being told what to do, or that they are going to die early or that they aren’t getting the most out of life due to their poor health and unhealthy lifestyle. People infer any comments or suggestions as personal attacks or insults and completely shut down before any of the words can make a positive impact.

I have experienced all of these at some point. As much as I hate to admit it, the reason I can identify those reasons for not changing my lifestyle earlier and regaining control of my health and fitness is because I’ve lived through each of those reasons. The challenge for people like me now is to find ways to get past those reasons, to break through the walls people put up, and to do what it takes to get through to them.

Usually, a photo that has fat me next to thin me helps. Some people have outright denied the fat pictures were me. They think I’m trying to fool them somehow, or that the photo is of a relative, friend, or other person who happens to look similar to me. I usually break out additional photos with me and my kids or me and other people they know to build trust. I try to explain that I’m not lecturing them, and honestly, I only discuss health with anyone once. After that, they have to come to me for advice or information because I don’t want anyone to feel uncomfortable around me. Worse, I don’t want to scare anyone away.

Being patient helps, but for some people, time is running out. With certain family members, especially when they are advanced in age, a more direct approach may be necessary. With others, I will discuss it when they ask, and then I’ll leave it at that until they approach me again.

It’s sad that so few people really care about their own health. It makes me angry that our government takes so much money from certain food industry lobbyists and then dumps money right back into industries that feed us this bad information and worse, bad nutrition. Think of all the corn and wheat subsidies the government pays out. All that corn and wheat has to be sold somewhere. It’s in the government’s best interest to foster a market that buys up all this product. I know it seems cynical, and even a bit paranoid, but it all fits together too nicely: like puzzle pieces.

I will continue to try to do what I can to get through to people, but I will not force the issue. I will continue to talk to anyone who wants to seek out information, but I will not volunteer that information without invitation. You’re here reading this on your own volition: neither I nor anyone else forced you to come here (I hope!). Thanks for caring about your health and for being interested enough to find out more. Let me help you. If you need help, let me know. It’s free and with no strings attached.

It’s as if bad nutritional information is covered in impenetrable armor. No matter what ammunition I believe that I have to get through to people, often, it turns out to be ineffective. There are many reasons for this.

First, the bad nutritional information has been not only available for decades, but it’s been touted by the education system, the government, and even the media. People truly believe that low-fat is good for them, that whole grains are good for them, and that orange juice is a healthy alternative to sodas and the best drink to have in the morning.

Second, anytime information or studies come out that counters the status quo, it is quickly discounted and discredited. There is a lot to lose by the companies that have been paying the lobbyists to keep pushing grain subsidies and an education system that pushes grains as healthy.

Third, people hate being wrong. They hate finding out that what they have believed their entire lives turns out to be untrue. The more evidence you show them about how wrong they are, they entrench themselves further. It’s hard to find out a firmly-held belief or truth you’ve held dear turns out to be based on lies and bad science. For some, it’s too much.

Fourth, the diet industry has no reason to really want people to lose weight. Why would drug dealers want their customers to go to rehab? The diet industry is all about making money, and if people become successful at losing weight, there will be fewer people to buy the diet products. As the industry is a growing multi-billion dollar industry, there’s no incentive to really get people to lose weight.

Fifth, the medical industry is a for-profit industry that has much to gain from weight-related maladies and their associated diseases. Insurance companies are also for-profit, and they can justify higher premiums for those who meet certain criteria and demographics. They can pick and choose their customers, and even refuse to do business with demographics that would cause them to lose money.

When you add these reasons up, it’s obvious why we have such an obesity epidemic in the U.S., and most of the Western world. All the powers are conspiring against the people all for the sake of a dollar.

Bad information is everywhere as it pertains to nutrition. The incentives to truly find a solution to the obesity epidemic is elusive. It’s difficult to fight the abundance of bad nutritional information out there, but it’s not impossible. Keep reading, keep learning, and keep seeking out the truth as it pertains to nutrition as you should in everything. Together, we can help people and make a dent in the bad information that’s out there and really help people lose weight and get healthy.

This is advice given to people in regards to careers, professions, sports, and perhaps even when it comes to personality traits or skills. However, one area that this is often not mentioned is health and weight loss. Subconsciously, it’s why I ignored thin people for decades when they tried to lecture me about weight loss, but when I heard from people who had successfully lost weight and kept it off, it planted a seed that grew and welled up within me until I could no longer ignore it.

I was speaking to a soldier this weekend about weight and fitness. In the military, we are held to height and weight standards, and if you cannot meet them, you are discharged from the military. It’s pretty serious, and for those planning on making a career of the military, it can be devastating. This particular soldier is currently overweight, and on his last physical fitness test, only made the standard through what is called “Taping” which is when body fat is calculated using a tape measure, measuring the neck and the waist. He very barely passed his physical fitness test as well. He was happy to get past it, but has since let his weight balloon and has not been running.

I don’t lecture soldiers about their weight, but I do offer advice. I want to plant the seed. I want to let them know that I was once fat and I overcame that and regained control of my health through diet. I show them photos of me when I was overweight, and they can see that I’m no longer anywhere near being beyond the height and weight standards. They also know I have a solid APFT score (my last one was 273 out of 300), and that I’m fit.

This particular soldier exemplified what is so wrong with our nutritional education in this country, and it was extremely frustrating. He told me he had a diet approved by a certified nutritionist who had a master’s degree in nutrition. His diet included diet drinks, diet smoothies, all the fruit he wants to eat, and low-fat meats. His dinners were sub sandwiches.

I wanted to scream.

This poor guy is working his tail off, buying a bunch of diet products, and doing what he thinks is the right way to lose weight and get healthy while not losing any weight at all and doing the exact opposite. On top of that, he’s joined a gym and is working out for an hour or two every day, and yet, he’s not losing any weight. He’s frustrated, but he was adorably optimistic. He told me he’s not losing weight, but that he’s building muscle mass, which is better.

I tried to tell him his diet was wrong. I tried to tell him you can’t exercise away a bad diet. I tried to tell him, as gently as I could, that this nutritionist who approved his diet may not have the latest information available about nutrition. It all fell on deaf ears.

And so, I will likely see this poor guy not make his height/weight standards, he will likely not make the taping standards, and will likely be discharged because of it. And it breaks my heart.

If you want to lose weight, emulate someone who has walked the same path as you. They know the in’s and out’s, the pitfalls, the shortcuts, and the path to success. If you don’t trust me, find someone you do who has lost the weight and kept it off. Avoid people trying to sell you stuff, because their motivations are typically more about the money and less about helping you get healthy. You don’t necessarily have to avoid people who have never been overweight, but there’s comfort in knowing that someone will completely understand your journey in a way only another overweight person can. If I can be that person for you, I’m honored to do so.